don't ask why

In chatting with my good friend, Dara, about the day to day challenges of parenting, she said something that really resonated with me.
When your child does something wrong, don't ask "Why did you do that?"
They probably do not have a good reason as to why they did it.
That is the foundational problem we have of being born into a sinful nature. And try as we might to wish that we are all fundamentally good, the reality is that we are not. Bummer to hear that, I know. But true. As any 2 year old will demonstrate to you, if left to our own devices, we are more likely to do harm than good.
So what is a parent to do????
Instead, ask "Do you know why what you did was wrong?"
And then follow thru on the punishment.
Again, it is a bummer! What parent actually wants to do these things???
But establishing effective rules and boundaries, and then punishing the disobedience to those rules, is possibly THE key element of effective parenting.